A couple of months ago I wrote about the Coder’s Journey, and one of the most important parts of any journey is finding a mentor. This might be the person who hands you the sword to defeat the dragon or gives you the confidence to tackle the error on your screen. But finding a mentor isn’t a matter of asking a random person. You need to find someone who can understand you and your needs. It needs to be a person who is fully willing and capable to help you with your needs. Finding a mentor who fits into your journey could be a big part of your story.
Qualities of a mentor
- Knowledgeable
- Experienced
- Willing
- Understanding
- Honest
- Interested in mentoring
- Value learning and growth
- Respected by peers
So now that you have some qualities to think about, how do you actually find a mentor?
Write a description of what you want in a Mentor
Your mentor’s job is not to replace google. You are responsible for your education. But think about what needs you have beyond asking questions that are answered on stackoverflow or glassdoor. Are you worried about interviewing, finding the learning tools that are right for you, or what you’ll experience in the workplace? For me, I needed someone who would understand my experience learning as a mom. There are emotional conflicts that I have to tackle while fighting the errors on my screen. I’m going to need a pep talk once in a while. I need a mentor who can say, “you’ve got this. You’ve defeated bigger challenges.” I need someone to relate to me and my journey on a human level. Because my biggest impediment to learning isn’t doubting my ability to learn how to code, it’s doubting my ability to learn how to code while being a mom.
Look at your network to see who fits
I’m not employed, I don’t have an internship, I live in a tiny town, and I don’t get out much. How would I ever find someone who meets my description? Social media. I wrote about networking on social media previously, but I want to emphasize that this has been essential to my growth as a coder and mentee. I was lucky enough to meet my mentor on twitter, who has switched careers and overcome challenges while momming as well. I was really lucky that she reached out to me and offered to mentor me. Don’t worry if you don’t have a large network. There are some organizations that work to pair mentees with mentors and some employers do this as well. These are great formalized programs that could help you if you don’t have an extended network.
Be courteous
I really enjoy helping people who DM me questions, but I get really frustrated when people demand that I help them this second. Nope. I don’t owe you anything. Keep in mind that although someone might be amazing, that doesn’t mean they have the time, energy, brain power to do one more thing. Kindly consider their time and keep that in mind when you ask.
Not all mentors come in traditional forms. You might have unofficial mentors on social media. You might follow someone who streams their coding sessions who answers your questions during the stream. You might have a programmer that you’re comfortable going to when you have a problem or question. It doesn’t have to be a monthly meeting where you go over algorithms. What’s important is that a mentor meets your needs and you’re both happy in the relationship.