I’ve been incredibly fortunate to find an amazing community of people cheering me on as I learn to code. I haven’t had to face discrimination in the workplace, people demeaning my abilities because I’m a woman, or implicit sexism. But I also code from my home and find my support system through hashtags. I’ve heard the stories of workplace problems and palpably uncomfortable working situations. And I’ve heard people say, what do you want me to do about it? I wasn’t the one instigating the actions. To those people, here’s what I want you to do:

Be Nice to Someone

One of the most important things that happened to me when I first started coding was people were nice to me. We all need to feel validated by more than our moms and partners. Finding validation from community members allows for inclusion. In my first couple of months coding, I had two people who I thought were really important encourage me, and meet me where I was, and it made a huge difference.

Meet People Where They Are

One of the great shifts going on in the tech environment is acknowledging people have lives beyond their jobs. I would define my primary community as moms learning to code. I’ve been fortunate enough to become a part of Moms Can: Code, where many of the other moms are in the same position: learning to code while being a primary caretaker to our kids. For us, we’re struggling to find time to learn, whether it’s for ourselves, our kids, or both. But if you can’t recognize the challenges we face and support us, you’re not an ally and you’re excluding a really unique voice. Personally, I think empathy is one of the greatest things you can learn–this is why I’ve taught literature for ten years. We learn empathy through reading as well as interacting with others. (Ahhhh, that sounds like another post.)

Invest in Others

Mentoring

So many great success stories start with the mentor. Even in literature, the hero’s journey shows that the hero needs a mentor to help them gain confidence. Spoiler alert: the mentor doesn’t have to be the best and brightest on the block. Even someone with less experience can be a mentor. I’m amazed by the number of moms who have asked me for help or guidance. My background in English Lit is research heavy. I know how to find answers to problems. Can I do Javascript? A little, and not well, but I can find out how to find the answer to a question.

Financial Support

I’m not going to lie. Financial support can be huge, and it’s certainly affected my journey. This is one of the reasons there’s a lack of diversity in tech. People might not have access to the equipment or education they need to advance. If you have resources, don’t be afraid to invest them. If you don’t have the time, find an organization that has a good reputation and community, and they’ll do it for you. I know a mom right now, who is so close to her dream of coding, but she’s about $500 short of her deposit for a bootcamp. I’ve looked through resources out there for moms and women, and it’s hard to find support to grow–not to mention it takes hours to try to find it. (This is the blog post of asides. I’m working on a github repo that organizes these resources. DM me if you’re interested in helping.) For me, $500 is my house payment, but for others out there, it might be expendable cash.

Don’t Let People Be Assholes

If someone is being awful, stop it. Sometimes it’s uncomfortable. Sometimes the stakes are high. But being a good person should always trump those things. Be part of the solution, not the problem.

It doesn’t matter what field you’re in, being a good person makes you valuable. Cooperation and teamwork get the impossible solved.