I’m an awkward INTJ. If you don’t know what that means, I love this description from 16 Personalities:

INTJs are brilliant and confident in bodies of knowledge they have taken the time to understand, but unfortunately the social contract is unlikely to be one of those subjects. White lies and small talk are hard enough as it is for a type that craves truth and depth, but INTJs may go so far as to see many social conventions as downright stupid…INTJs are defined by their tendency to move through life as though it were a giant chess board, pieces constantly shifting with consideration and intelligence, always assessing new tactics, strategies and contingency plans, constantly outmaneuvering their peers in order to maintain control of a situation while maximizing their freedom to move about.

You can imagine that this makes it difficult for me to network, find a supportive community, and to not feel like a one-woman show. In fact, only .08% of women are INTJs, which makes it feel even more isolating in groups of women. But inside of all that INTJ-ness, I have a super power, well a couple. I am driven by things I am passionate about, and I want to talk about them all the time. The second part of this super power is that I’m a story-teller. I believe that connections are made through passionate storytelling. Luckily, social media opens up all sorts of opportunities for me to tell my story, and it can help you make meaningful connections too.

Make connections

When I started learning to code last fall, I knew one person who knew how to code, my husband. But I started posting about it, and my network has grown to an incredible group of people who are learning, have learned, and/or are thinking about learning to code. Talk about resources! I have the ability to mentor and to be mentored within seconds.

Use your hashtags

Using and searching the right hashtags will help you find the right people to add to your community. The first organization I found has been the most supportive in my journey. As I was searching through hashtags on twitter, I found Moms Can: Code. Erica Peterson is onto something here, a supportive group of women in all different stages of coding. If anyone needs support, it’s moms who often carry the emotional weight of the family on their shoulders. It’s not just about learning to code, it’s learning to code while mom. Not only have I gained confidence in my coding, but I’ve also gained confidence in my ability to mother my four kids. Whether it’s online co-working, conversations in the FB group, or shoutouts on other social media platforms, we work hard to lift each other up.

Utilize your resources

You might follow someone on Instagram and twitter who has the answers you need. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. The worst someone can say is no. The best they can do is help you. Sometimes you might just need a cheerleader. It’s fine to have bad days and to talk about it. Someone online will be there to lift you up. If it’s no one else, just ask me.

Research

I’m not at the point where I’m looking for a job, but I’m involved in coding communities and have checked out a couple of bootcamps. Look at the people who are involved in the groups you’re interested in joining. How do they treat other people on social media? How do the employees of those companies represent themselves online? How do they treat you if you publicly mess up on social media? What articles are they posting? This gives some indication of what you want to be a part of.

Tell your story

Who are you? Who were you? Who do you want to be? This is your space to define your journey, to represent yourself in a way that people won’t misinterpret your quietness. I prefer to be open and vulnerable when it comes to my online posts because it invites others to be the same, and where theres an empathetic connection, there’s community.

Social media has been a place for me to subvert my introvertedness and tell my story. I’ve formed friendships with people I’ve never met IRL. I’ve networked with groups who I would never been able to. Social media provides access to opportunities that are frequently cost prohibitive and location prohibitive. And I’m really fortunate to say that I’m at a tech conference right now, and I’ve met some of those amazing people and picked up the conversations we’ve had online without batting my introverted eye.